Navigating Holiday Stress
The end of the year can be an exciting time - get togethers, holidays, celebrations- and it can also feel stressful! In a 2023 study conducted by the American Psychological Association (APA), nearly 9 out of 10 adults said something causes them stress during the holiday season. Some of the most common holiday stressors included navigating family dynamics, planning, finances, and feeling pressure to make it perfect. Let’s break these stressors down and brainstorm realistic ways to manage stress during the holidays.
Family
Of course this was going to be number one! Everyone is going to have a different relationship with their family. In the APA’s study 38% reported stress related to missing loved ones, 25% reported stress related to not being able to spend time with loved ones, and 22% reported anticipating family conflict as a stressor this time of year.
Planning
The logistics of the holidays can feel overwhelming. 32% of adults reported having too much to do and 19% reported stress around travel (APA, 2023).
Finances
This was rated the highest concern among the APA’s study participants with 58% reporting stress due to spending too much or not having enough money to spend. With this being such a common stressor, I think we have a lot to learn from this.
Pressure to Make It Perfect
I hear this a lot among my community of friends and clients. So many are trying to make the holidays special for their family and friends. 40% reported pressure to find the perfect gift and 30% felt pressure to make the holiday special.
What Can We Learn From This?
As a licensed therapist, my take away is- let’s find ways to take the pressure off. If so many are experiencing this pressure and stress together, what would it be like to collectively acknowledge the stress is not serving us.
Set boundaries: While there is often the generalization that boundaries keep us distant from others, setting boundaries can also allow us to continue healthy relationships with those that matter the most. It sets the tone for how we are expecting to engage and what we are willing to accept.
Examples: “The kids have bedtime at 8:00 pm so we will be leaving by 7:30 pm.”, “I’d like to stick to conversations other than politics, so I’ll take a break from the dinner table if that comes up.”
Focus on what is within your control: While you can plan some parts of your holiday experience, there will be some things out of your control. Focus on the things within your reach and practice radical acceptance of the rest. Practice acceptance that there may be *some stress*, and that’s normal!
Examples: I can focus on my behaviors and actions, I can’t control what others day or do. I can choose who I spend my time with. I will spend the holiday with my chosen family.
Set spending limits: Finances are top of mind for many. Expenses this time of year add up. Have conversations with friends and family about setting limits on gifting or if you would like to exchange gifts this year, share the load of the holiday meal with potluck style, etc. Holiday celebrations focused on love and community are a lot more meaningful than picture “perfect” ones.
Examples: “Would you like to exchange gifts this year?”, “Would you be comfortable with a ___ spending limit?”, “Can everyone please bring 1 dish to share with the family?”
Bring more joy!: What would add more joy to the season? Focus on adding things that truly bring happiness. You could start a new tradition, watch a movie, light a candle, attend a holiday event in your community, call a friend to ask how their year was, try a new recipe, etc. Big or small, there are many moments to find joy this season.
Happy Holidays! - Keeley Estrada, LMFT
Sources
https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2023/11/holiday-season-stress